You are doing four or five small things that quietly cost you the evening — and nobody has ever told you, because the person across the table just says “this was fun” and goes home.
This book tells you. Backwards. Each chapter hands you the perfect method for destruction, in loving detail, then ruins your fun by explaining what works better.
Nobody has ever fallen in love with a bio.
What you get
Two books. Two disasters.
How to Ruin a First Date
63 pages, fourteen chapters, illustrated throughout. The performance problem — profiles, planning, phones, silences, and the goodbye nobody plans.
How to Ruin a Second Date
57 pages, twelve chapters. The pace problem — what happens when the audition ends and you either stop trying or sprint.
The fourteen
Which one are you?
Tap a card. Every chapter comes with a damage rating, and the ratings are not kind.
Rated 1 “barely awkward” to 5 “new identity required”.
Inside
Real pages, not a mockup.
Every page is illustrated, colour-coded and built to be read in ten minutes or picked at for weeks.
The scene — chapter fourValid reasons to check your phoneThe post-date debrief — printable
The damage
One evening costs more than this.
Focus Direction — itemised
How to Ruin a First Date — 63-page PDFincl.
How to Ruin a Second Date — 57-page PDFincl.
Regret0.00
Total€28
EU customers
€28 total, VAT included. You are buying two digital files, delivered immediately as a download.
They said they dislike olives. You began preparing your closing argument.
Questions
Reasonable concerns.
Is this actually a joke book or actually useful?
Both, on purpose. Every chapter describes the sabotage in loving detail, then tells you what tends to work better. You will laugh and then quietly change one thing.
What do I get?
Two PDFs — 63 pages and 57 pages. Instant download, no app, no account. Read them on a phone, a laptop, or print them.
Will this work if I am shy or new to dating?
Yes, and it is written not to make fun of you. The humour targets recognisable behaviour, never nervous people.
Is it for men or for women?
Neither, specifically. Gender-neutral throughout, no traditional-roles nonsense, no pickup-artist language.
What if I hate it?
Then you have a very colourful PDF and a story. It is a low-stakes purchase by design.
You already know how to ruin it.
This is the part where you stop.
EU customers
€28 total, VAT included. Two digital files, delivered immediately as a download.
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